Author: Fr. John

God created the dog and said: ‘Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years.’

The dog said: ‘That’s a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I’ll give you back the other ten?’

So God agreed.

God created the monkey and said: ‘Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I’ll give you a twenty-year life span.’

The monkey said: ‘Monkey tricks for twenty years? That’s a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the Dog did?’

And God agreed. Continue reading “Sermon: Easter 7 RCL A – “Giving Glory””

For years a particular church had been growing. Folks from every walk of life were attending. The music was good, the coffee was good, they were adding to their numbers every week, but what was the best was the preaching. That preacher could take to the pulpit and the congregation was like putty. We he wanted them to cry, they bawled. When he wanted them to laugh, it was comedy central. When he wanted them to give, they couldn’t give enough. Word of this church made its way all the way to heaven, so Jesus decided that he would like to see it for himself. Choosing a Sunday at random he showed up. No one recognized him, but he remembered that the disciples had a hard enough time recognizing him after the resurrection also, so he wasn’t concerned. No one welcomed him, but my goodness, they were busy, so that was OK too. Intent on seeing it all, he made his way to the front pew and sat dead center (he stuck out there, as no one else was in the first several pews, preferring to gather towards the back). Continue reading “Sermon: Easter 6 RCL A – “Seek””

A young American engineer was sent to Ireland by his company to work in a new electronics plant. It was a two-year assignment that he had accepted because it would enable him to earn enough to marry his long-time girlfriend. She had a job near her home in Tennessee, and their plan was to pool their resources and put a down payment on a house when he returned. They corresponded often, but as the lonely weeks went by, she began expressing doubts that he was being true to her, exposed as he was to comely Irish lasses.

The young engineer wrote back, declaring with some passion that he was paying absolutely no attention to the local girls. “I admit,” he wrote, “that sometimes I’m tempted. But I fight it. I’m keeping myself for you.”

In the next mail, the engineer received a package. It contained a note from his girl and a harmonica. “I’m sending this to you,” she wrote, “so you can learn to play it and have something to take your mind off those girls.”

The engineer replied, “Thanks for the harmonica. I’m practicing on it every night and thinking of you.” Continue reading “Sermon: Easter 5 RCL A – “The Old Argument””

An armed hooded robber bursts into a little bank in South Louisiana, and forces the tellers to load a sack full of cash. On his way out the door with the loot one brave Cajun customer grabs the hood and pulls it off, revealing the robber’s face. The robber shoots the guy without hesitation! He then looks around the bank to see if anyone else has seen him. One of the tellers is looking straight at him and the robber walks over and calmly shoots him also. Everyone by now is very scared and looking down at the floor. “Did anyone else see my face?” calls the robber. There are a few moments of silence, then Boudreaux looking down tentatively raises his hand and says: “I think my wife, Chlotile, peeked.” There’s an opportunist in every crowd. Continue reading “Sermon: Easter 4 RCL A – “The Opportunist””

Image credit. 

A woman’s car stalled in traffic. She looked in vain under the hood to identify the cause, while the driver behind her leaned relentlessly on his horn. Finally she had enough. She walked back to his car and offered sweetly, “I don’t know what the problem is with my car. But if you want to go look under the hood, I’ll be glad to sit back here and honk for you.”

If we were to go around the room, I suspect we would discover that there are very few of us who have no plans for the rest of the day. Not many will head back home, prop their feet up, and enjoy. Instead, if we were to go around the room, I suspect that there are many who are only waiting for the last candle to be snuffed out on the altar before taking off to the next event on the calendar. We are very busy people and I suppose that is OK, we can enjoy the busyness just as much as the quiet, but that busyness has a way of changing the way we think. We can begin to believe that if we aren’t doing something, if something isn’t happening, then we are wasting time, and if we believe that we are wasting time, then we will lay on the horn until that idiot gets the heck out of our way, or if there is no idiot, we will invent something to fill the time. Continue reading “Sermon: Easter 3 RCL A – “A Waiting Soul””

For three years Jesus ministered on earth. Scripture occasionally tells us that He went off by himself to pray, but for the most part, from the very beginning of his public ministry, there was always the crowd.

There was the crowd at his baptism in the river Jordan, at the wedding in Cana, and at the Sermon on the Mount. The crowd was constantly pushing in. At one point the disciples almost seem amused at the crowd. You’ll recall the woman who had the flow of blood for twelve years. She touches the hem of Jesus’ garment and he says, “Who touched Me?” Peter responds, ”Master, the multitudes throng and press You, and You say, ‘Who touched Me?’”

At another point the disciples rebuke the crowd for pressing in upon Jesus and bringing their children for a blessing. It is here that we receive that beautiful saying of Jesus, “Let the little children come unto me and do not hinder them, for of such is the kingdom of heaven.” Continue reading “Palm Sunday RCL A – “The Crowd””

Clotile would haul Boudreaux to church every Sunday morning and make him sit on the front row with her, because, as she liked to remind him on a regular basis, “It was probably as close to Jesus and heaven as he was ever going to get.”

Well one Sunday, as the preacher of the First Atchafalaya Church of the Redeemer was getting his second wind about 30 minutes into the sermon, wouldn’t you know it, but Satan appeared. Seeing who it was, the preacher, Clotile, and all the parishioners were crawling out windows and trampling one another in a frantic effort to get out of there. All except Boudreaux who just sat there calmly staring up at the Devil with a very disinterested look on his face. Continue reading “Sermon: Lent 4 RCL A – “Mark””