
Little Johnny had gone to the beach with his family. After a short time, Johnny asked his mom if he could go swimming in the ocean. His mother said, “Certainly not. The sea’s too rough, there’s a terrible rip tide and a dangerous offshore current, this coast is infested with jellyfish and sharks, and there’s no lifeguard on duty.” Johnny said, “But Daddy’s gone swimming!” His mother, looking out over the water, replied nonchalantly, “I know, but he has excellent life insurance.”
Last week, as we discussed the Epistle of James, we concluded that we can work at avoiding the sting of sin by drawing near to God and walking in the light. St. James, in his Epistle, said to us, “Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you.” (James 4:7-8)
From this, a good question would be: How do I draw near to God? How do I walk in the light? We know that through prayer and study, we can accomplish this to some extent. However, the devil is crafty. Even in the beginning in the Garden of Eden, we are told, “Now the serpent—the devil—was more crafty than any other beast of the field that the Lord God had made.” (Genesis 3:1) So, even though we may watch and pray and study, the devil is still looking for ways to deceive us. One of the more successful tactics the serpent may take is not by deceiving us directly but by convincing us to deceive ourselves. This goes back to how we, at times, will dabble in our sins or negotiate with them. As we learned last week, you can’t sin just a little. You are either sinning or not. We deceive ourselves when we think otherwise. Unfortunately, we do this, and even though we may be praying and studying, we can become increasingly mired and stuck in the sin that is killing us.
This is akin to the general confession we make almost every time we gather. On a Sunday, the general confession is the one that we make together following the Creed. It is beneficial, but there needs to be real accountability. Sure, I during the General Confession,I can confess to stealing, but no one is holding me accountable for that sin. No one is asking me to make restitution. No one is around to help me overcome the sin. I confessed the sin of stealing, but I’ve got no skin in the game. So, I am more likely to continue in that sin because I haven’t been “called out” on it and have likely deceived myself and justified my actions. What I really need is for someone to come along and say, “You need to stop stealing, and I’m going to….” Not be your taskmaster, not ride you day in and day out, not condemn you, bash you about the head and neck, none of that. No. What I need is someone to come alongside me and say, “You need to stop stealing, and I’m going to help you to stop deceiving yourself. I’m going to hold you accountable. I’m going to come alongside you and love you.”
This morning, we read the last two verses of the Epistle of St. James. “My brothers and sisters, if anyone among you wanders from the truth—falls into sin—and is brought back by another, you should know that whoever brings back a sinner from wandering will save the sinner’s soul from death and will cover a multitude of sins.” (James 5:19-20)
We come alongside each other and help one another because to save our souls, we need one another. Jesus never sent the disciples out alone, always two-by-two, so he certainly doesn’t want us to go it alone, either. Why? The world we live in can be like rough seas; there can be terrible rip tides and dangerous offshore currents, jellyfish and sharks that can harm us, and there is no lifeguard on duty.” If we go out alone, any number of things can befall us, but if we have someone with us, the chances for our safety are much greater.
As I’ve told you several times before, Christianity does not exist in an individual. Christianity exists in a community. A community of believers that support and care for one another. A community of believers who are, despite all their differences, friends.
If you want warm and sappy, you can always look up quotes about friendship; those quotes often speak about chance encounters. “Friendship is the beautiful chance encounter that enriches our lives.” “In the randomness of life, meeting a friend is a chance worth cherishing.” “A true friend is a rare gem discovered by chance in the vast sea of humanity.” But what if the community we build here and the friends we make are not random chance?
In The Four Loves, C.S. Lewis discusses this. “In friendship,” he writes, “We think we have chosen our peers. In reality, a few years’ difference in the dates of our births, a few more miles between certain houses, the choice of one university instead of another…the accident of a topic being raised or not raised at a first meeting—any of these chances might have kept us apart. But, for a Christian, there are, strictly speaking, no chances. A secret master of ceremonies has been at work. Christ, who said to the disciples, ‘Ye have not chosen me, but I have chosen you,’ can truly say to every group of Christian friends, ‘Ye have not chosen one another but I have chosen you for one another.’ The friendship is not a reward for our discriminating and good taste in finding one another out. It is the instrument by which God reveals to each of us the beauties of others.” (The Four Loves, p.89)
The author of Ecclesiastes confirms the need for these friendships. “Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up!” (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10)
There is no lifeguard on duty, so, for many reasons, we need one another, one of which is to hold one another accountable.
Thomas à Kempis tells us, “God has so ordained, that we may learn to bear with one another’s burdens, for there is no person without fault, no person without burden, no person sufficient to themself nor wise enough. Hence, we must support one another, console one another, mutually help, counsel, and advise, for the measure of every person’s virtue is best revealed in time of adversity—adversity that does not weaken a person but rather shows what they are.” (Imitation of Christ 1.16)
How do we do this? Numerous times, the Bible provides us with instruction, and they all speak of gentleness, love, and humility. However, before you set out on such a task, I suggest you check yourself because, so often, when we seek to correct another person, our actions have little or nothing to do with these traits. Remember the cartoon that made the social media rounds? “You were a believer, yes. But you skipped the
not-being-a-jerk-about-it part.” So often, those things we want to correct in another person have absolutely nothing to do with them and everything to do with us. If you want to hold someone accountable, ensure your heart is in the right place. If you feel that it is, then don’t be a jerk. Go to that person and, with kind and gentle words, speak to them. And don’t do it from a place of superiority or even as a parent would talk to a child. Instead, speak to them as an equal, recognizing that you, too, are a sinner in need of a loving God and also recognizing that tomorrow, it will likely be you who is being spoken to for your sins.
If your heart is in the right place and you truly believe a person needs to be held accountable, correct them. Their very soul may depend on your words. But do so with genuine humility and love.
Jesus said to His disciples, “I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.” (John 15:15)
Jesus calls us friends, so we must be true friends with one another, and the strength of a true friendship can withstand loving one another in such a way that we can hold each other accountable.
In the novel It, my friend Stephen King wrote, “Maybe there aren’t any such things as good friends or bad friends – maybe there are just friends, people who stand by you when you’re hurt and who help you feel not so lonely. Maybe they’re always worth being scared for, and hoping for, and living for. Maybe worth dying for too, if that’s what has to be. No good friends. No bad friends. Only people you want, need to be with; people who build their houses in your heart.” (p.1,043)
I believe this is the kind of friendship that Jesus desires for us. Be that friend to one another.
Let us pray:
Guardian Angel,
watch over those who have built houses in my heart.
Guard over them with every care
and make their way easy and their labors fruitful.
Dry their tears if they weep;
sanctify their joys;
raise their courage if they weaken;
restore their hope if they lose heart,
their health if they be ill,
truth if they err,
repentance if they fail.
Amen.










