Category: Sermons

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Sermon: Proper 22 RCL A – “Searching for the Kingdom”

The podcast can be found here.

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Mr. Williams, a hardened businessman, was interviewing applicants for an important position in management. To find the right person for the job, he created a test; each applicant was asked the same question, “What is two and two?”

The first interview was with a journalist. The writer looked at Williams and answered, “Twenty-two.”

The second applicant to be interviewed was an engineer. He tackled the question with a compass and slide rule. Within moments, he confidently declared the answer to be “somewhere between 3.999 and 4.001.”

Mr. Williams was optimistic about the next applicant, a former lawyer. The lawyer studied the question and then confidently stated that in the case of Stallings vs. Commissioner of the Dept. of the Interior, two and two had been proven to be four. Continue reading “Sermon: Proper 22 RCL A – “Searching for the Kingdom””

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Sermon: Proper 21 RCL A – “By What Authority?”

The podcast can be found here.

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Boudreaux had been transporting his his favorite mule, Matilda, to some greener pastures when a semi ran a stop sign and plowed into him. A couple months later, he sued the trucking company for all his pain an misery, but when the fancy lawyer from the trucking company got him on the stand during the trial, the lawyer asked him, “Didn’t you say at the scene of the accident ‘I’m fine’”?

Broudreaux said, “Let me told you what happened to me, I had jus loaded my favorite mule…”

The lawyer interrupted , “No. Just answer the question. When asked, didn’t you respond by saying, ‘I’m fine’”?

Boudreaux said, “I had just got Matilda into da trailer and was driving…”

The lawyer interrupted again and said, “Judge, I am trying to establish the fact that this man told the State Policeman on the scene that he was just fine. Now he decides to sue. I believe he is a fraud. Please instruct him to answer the question.”

The judge thought for a minute, then said, “I’d like hear what he’s got to say.” Continue reading “Sermon: Proper 21 RCL A – “By What Authority?””

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Sermon: Proper 20 RCL A – “Worthy”

The podcast can be found here.

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I don’t like to be late and actually prefer to get places well ahead of time. I also don’t like to wait around, which means that I create my own frustrations by arriving early, but today is not the time for sorting out my psychological issues; however, awhile back as I was walking through the airport – I was early for my flight – then I saw the line through security… very long. fifty to sixty people deep long and moving slow. Now, not only was I probably going to be late, I was also going to have to wait. I entered the cattle shoot – the long winding back and forth partitions for the line. As I made the left side cutback, I started passing folks on the other side of the ropes. I figured that it was going to turn me back eventually, but no. It was only when I was a few steps from the security desk that I realized I was in the TSA pre-approved line. That’s the line that allows you to scoot on through, because you have enough money and have jumped through a few hurdles.

Looking up at the agent, I said, “Oh, sorry. I’m in the wrong line.” And was turning to go, when the agent said, “It’s OK, honey. Come on through.” I didn’t even have my collar on. I smiled and looked over at the other line. It wasn’t one of those gloating smiles either. I was just happy. There were people scowling at me. For a brief moment, I feared for my safety. I ducked my head and hurriedly went the rest of the way through security before any of the others could get through and find me. They were ticked because not only did I scoot through, but also because I shouldn’t have been allowed. I should have been spun on my heels and sent to the back of the line. Just ask anybody who was standing in that line of fifty to sixty people. We don’t always like seeing people receive something we do not feel they deserve. Why? Because we believe that we are the one entitled, deserving of preferential treatment. Continue reading “Sermon: Proper 20 RCL A – “Worthy””

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Sermon: Proper 19 RCL A – “Seventy Times Seven”

The podcast can be found here.

True story: Andy Thomossan was fishing aboard the boat named Citation during the 52nd Annual Big Rock Blue Marlin Tournament on June 14, 2010 off the coast of North Carolina, when he hooked a whopper – an 883 pound marlin. He set the record and won the prize. The prize: one million dollars. Not bad for a day fishing.

After posing for pictures, the team began to celebrate their first place million dollar prize. Just one small problem: it was discovered that one of Thomossan’s partners, Peter Wann, didn’t have a valid fishing license.  That oversight was a direct violation of tournament rules, and after deliberating, officials disqualified the catch, and denied the entire team the winning purse.

Further adding to Wann’s shame, the fisheries division of North Carolina revealed that Wann purchased a license after the fish had been caught. He was hoping to keep his secret…secret.    Continue reading “Sermon: Proper 19 RCL A – “Seventy Times Seven””

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Sermon: Proper 18 RCL A – “Two or Three or More”

The podcast of this sermon can be found here.

A crowd of individuals can be a very fickle creature. It begins with each of us doing our own thing, but when we come together, we no longer pursue what makes us different, but what makes us alike. Given the right motivation, we will do what is necessary to be like everyone else and do what everyone else is doing. For example, take the wave at a football game, when 1,000s will go round and round the stadium, raising their hands and cheering.

Two physicist spent a summer studying this phenomenon. Perhaps it would be better to say, two bored physicists or two government funded physicists spent the summer studying the wave at sporting events. They reported, “The reason why we got interested in stadium waves was that people, apparently, very often behave like particles.” They say that in participating in the wave, we act like matter. Interesting points about a wave: in order for it to be sustainable, it must span from the top to the bottom of the stadium, it travels at about 20 seats per second, requires only 20 to 30 individuals to start a stadium of 50,000 moving, and typically the waves run clockwise. The primary factor though, in getting one started, is timing, when the mood is ripe. If it is an intense moment during the game, all you’re going to do in trying to start a wave is anger the people around you, but in times of celebration or even better, boredom, your chances of success increase considerably. So, like matter, given the right circumstances, a very small catalyst can start a very large reaction and get things moving. (source) Which, when applied to how individuals respond in a crowd, tells us that even if you’re sitting there trying to enjoy your supper with a beer in one hand, hotdog in the other, and some peanuts balanced on your knee, you’re still going to attempt to pop up when the wave comes to you, so that you can be like everyone else. Continue reading “Sermon: Proper 18 RCL A – “Two or Three or More””

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Sermon: Proper 17 RCL A – “Your Cross”

The podcast can be found here.  You can now follow on iTunes.

For those who enjoy social media, Facebook would seem to be the place to be; however, like all such outlets, you can be as anonymous as you want, often allowing unrestrained digital bile, but also a place where you can be the person you want to be whether you are or not. One wrote – probably Abraham Lincoln – “Welcome to Facebook, the place where relationships are perfect, liars believe the lies they tell, and the world shows off they are living a great life: where your enemies are the ones that visit your profile the most, your friends and family block you; and even though you write what you are really thinking, someone takes it the wrong way!”

Not only that, there’s often a bit too much self-disclosure, which is causing some folks their jobs, and in one case, $150,000. Continue reading “Sermon: Proper 17 RCL A – “Your Cross””

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Sermon: St. Augustine

The podcast for this sermon can be found here.

In the garden of Eden, the piece of fruit that Adam and Eve took that bite from is never identified as an apple.  Although never named, that apple has perhaps become the most infamous piece of fruit known to humankind.  Today, I would suggest to you that the second most infamous piece of fruit is a pear, because it was a pear that St. Augustine stole when he was sixteen years old.  Why did he steal a pear and what is his significance?

He wrote in his work Confessions, “Yet I was willing to steal, and steal I did [… the pear …] although I was not compelled by any lack, unless it were the lack of a sense of justice or a distaste for what was right and a greedy love of doing wrong. For of what I stole I already had plenty, and much better at that, and I had no wish to enjoy the things I coveted by stealing, but only to enjoy the theft itself and the sin.” Continue reading “Sermon: St. Augustine”

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Sermon: Proper 16 RCL A – “Mistaken Identity”

The podcast for this sermon can be found here.

An old cowboy named Bud was overseeing his livestock in a remote mountainous pasture in California when a fella in a fancy car comes skidding up. He gets out and is wearing this outlandish high fashion getup, a Rolex, with his hair slicked back, and a California tan – the works. When he opens his mouth, he’s clearly from “back east.”

Coming over to Bud he asked, “If I tell you exactly how many cows you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?”

Bud sized up the fella another moment then agrees, “Sure, why not?”

The guy pulls out is iPad and iPhone, makes a call, and ask for a photo from a satellite above. Once received he runs it through some computer analysis and has it count the number of animals on the ranch. After a few minutes, he turns to Bud and says, “You have exactly 1,562 cows in your herd.”

“That’s right, pardner,” replied the old cowhand. “Well, I guess I owe you a calf. Pick one out.”

The fellas looks over the herd, picks one out and then proceeds to cram it in the backseat of his car.

Bud interrupts this process. “Listen. If I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?”

“Why not?”

“You’re a U.S. Congressman.”

The man is shocked. “Yeah, how’d you guess that?” Continue reading “Sermon: Proper 16 RCL A – “Mistaken Identity””

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Sermon: Proper 15 RCL A – “Dog?”

You can find the podcast for todays sermon here –

A man goes to see his Rabbi. “Rabbi, something terrible is happening and I have to talk to you about it.” “What’s wrong?” “My wife is poisoning me.” “How can that be?” “I’m telling you, I’m certain she’s poisoning me. What should I do?” “Tell you what. Let me talk to her, I’ll see what I can find out, and I’ll let you know.” “A week later the Rabbi calls the man.” “Well, I spoke to your wife. I spoke to her on the phone for three hours. You want my advice?” “Yes, Rabbi.” “Take the poison.”

The dog on the front of your bulletin – head cocked to one side, trying to hear, trying to understand – can represent us all at times. Something happens, someone says something so out of character, so out of place, that we tilt our heads and can only respond by saying, “Huh?” “Take the poison” is one such remark, but not the only one we’ve heard today: Jesus said, “It is not fair to take the children’s food and throw it to the dogs.” Huh? Did Jesus just call this lady a dog? Continue reading “Sermon: Proper 15 RCL A – “Dog?””

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