Poem: Touch

This is one where I looked at the picture that I painted and then wrote the poem. Hope you can see it.

When you watch the sunrise alone
The sun not touching the sky
When you see a star
But not one that belongs
When you breathe
And the air escapes you
That is when you know
Love
Love in the green and blue
Love when the red speaks
To the black
But should you touch the center
Where none are known
Then you will
Bleed

I saw the sky come down on the dawn
I saw the sun set upon itself
I watched as night attracted them all
But then the sun rose
On a beach while I was alone
And there was your hand
Reaching for mine

We should escape to that place
That place of silence
That place where I watched
The sunrise alone

It is there that the silence
Wraps us in the caerulean sky
And the only star
Brightens the life of so many souls

Here we meet
Release me
Release me
Set me free to wander the night
The places where hate roams
But has no power
The place where pain screams
But has no feeling
The place where I have no voice
But the voice that is you

Drops of rain on the path
No matter

I watch the sunrise alone
And the star fell
I wake

A dream

When

Poem: Rules


there are rules

how we hate them

there are rules

but they must be followed

there are rules

but this is the night

they are broken

why?

because the pink engaged the blue

the blue was overwhelmed

and the sky became an end

Yes

There are the days

when the moon shines

and the whiskey flows

but then there are days

when the atrocity of it all

melts in the pink of your flesh

cries for another day

and screams at the night of your death

to return to the day before

Yes

I’ll make the scars

that traverse my skin

waiting for the days

that you are buried in us

Yes

I saw the moon set

and the sun rise

there was no sleep

but

but

the pink engaged the blue

and the blue

and the blue

LIVED!

Sun or Moon


the sun or the moon

my eyes are seeking you

the sun the moon

the skies are above you

the sun the moon

in the end we are together

a place of light

and a place where the skies

skip to their own tune

a place of darkness

that brings hands

grasping for one another

snow on the mountain

end of things

but not the end

only a new beginning

in the full light

of the sun or the moon

Advent Devotion: His Name is John?

Luca Giordano:ย Birth of St John the Baptist

Each year my friend, The Rev. Sean Ekberg, gathers laity and clergy to write a daily Advent reflection. Today (December 23) was mine. You can read it below or visit The Episcopal Church the Resurrection and read there along with some of the other reflections.

Luke 1:57-66

57 Now the time came for Elizabeth to give birth, and she bore a son. 58 Her neighbors and relatives heard that the Lord had shown his great mercy to her, and they rejoiced with her.

59 On the eighth day they came to circumcise the child, and they were going to name him Zechariah after his father. 60 But his mother said, โ€œNo; he is to be called John.โ€ 61 They said to her, โ€œNone of your relatives has this name.โ€ 62 Then they began motioning to his father to find out what name he wanted to give him. 63 He asked for a writing tablet and wrote, โ€œHis name is John.โ€ And all of them were amazed. 64 Immediately his mouth was opened and his tongue freed, and he began to speak, praising God. 65 Fear came over all their neighbors, and all these things were talked about throughout the entire hill country of Judea. 66 All who heard them pondered them and said, โ€œWhat then will this child become?โ€ For, indeed, the hand of the Lord was with him.

His Name is John?

Holden Caulfield loves his sister, Phoebe, and her innocence. He desires that her innocence go unchanged, yet he knows that every experience will change her to one degree or another. Reflecting on her many trips to the museum to view the same paintings that he has enjoyed, he thinks, โ€œI thought how sheโ€™d see the same stuff I used to see, and how sheโ€™d be different every time she saw it. It didnโ€™t exactly depress me to think about it, but it didnโ€™t make me feel gay as hell, either. Certain things they should stay the way they are. You ought to be able to stick them in one of those big glass cases and just leave them alone.โ€ (The Catcher in the Rye, J.D. Salinger)

In many respects, the Church had come to see itself as one of those items that should be curated in a big glass case. It should occasionally be brought out to remove the fine layer of dust that had accumulated, along with any unwelcomed spiderโ€™s web, and the glass it set upon also properly dusted. But then it should be set back unhindered in its proper place in that big glass cabinet.

Close to two years ago, something came along and smashed the cabinet.

When it hit, we all lunged forward from our comfortable seats and dashed to catch the Church before it struck the ground and burst into thousands of unrecognizable shards. By the grace of God, we caught it, but then what were we to do? Build another glass museum case? Set it out of reach on some high pinnacle? Place it on the nearest flat surface and quietly walk away? No. None of the above. Besides, this is Godโ€™s Church and if we were not to care for it, then He would raise up from the stones those who would.

The Bishop, clergy and people of the Diocese of Oklahoma took their Church and began taking a much closer look at it. They peered into stained glass windows and found the wonders of God and signs of a life that they had not anticipated, but one they would embrace. This was something new. In a sense, within the Church, the events of the last few years are like Zechariah giving his newborn son a name that none of his family had ever received, and it was God saying, โ€œBehold I make all things new.โ€ And truthfully, we were all amazed. We were perhaps afraid in trying, but we were doing things that we had not ever imagined. We were speaking to the world in new ways, being creative in how we fulfilled the Great Commission. Sometimes those new ways worked and sometimes the internet signal was not strong enough; but we have persevered and will continue to do so, for we believe that the hand of the Lord is with us.

At the naming of John, Zechariahโ€™s neighbors asked, โ€œWhat then will this child become?โ€ We can ask the same of the Church in this new era. What will we become? The answer: exactly the Church of which God desires for us to become. Letโ€™s just not go and put ourselves back in another big glass cabinet. Letโ€™s continue to seek new and innovative ways to proclaim the Gospel of Jesus Christ to a world that has also changed. Letโ€™s follow John out into the wilderness and be witness to Love.

The Rev. Dr. John Toles

Rector, St. Matthewโ€™s Enid

Episcopal Diocese of Oklahoma

Contemporary Koinonia

For about the last year, my friend and colleague, The Rev. Sean Ekberg and I have been working on a journal for The Episcopal Church and today it went live. It includes interviews with Bishops in the church, a seminary dean, ministry stories, and more. If you would like to know the bright side of The Episcopal Church, then you’re going to want to take some time reading through the articles. It is not a quick read, but it is well worth the time. There is much that is good happening. If you’ve been wondering where I’ve been spending my extra time… here you go. I believe, if you click the image below, it will take you to the Issuu edition.


Online Services

For those who are interested, at St. Matthew’s Episcopal Church, we have online Morning Prayer services (Monday – Thursday and sometimes Friday and Saturday) at 10 a.m. on the church YouTube channel and Facebook Live at 10 a.m., and it is also recorded for later viewing. The 10 a.m. Sunday Eucharist service is also available on both platforms. Would be delighted for you to stop by for a visit!

Opinion: Oxygen is a Basic Human Right

You will likely be offended…

What if we decided that a person’s right to oxygen was more important than a ten minute joy ride in space?

What if we decided that children should not be soldiers instead of being offended that someone might use our preferred pronoun when speaking to/of us?

What if we decided that raising people out of poverty where they live in garbage was more important than a film festival?

What if lives in India mattered as much as lives anywhere else?

What if a drink of water meant more than you getting to work faster?

You can call me a communist or something worse for thinking these “what ifs”, but I think of it as being a Christian. St. Paul would not rest until the sisters and brothers cared for those around them. Why do we?

Oxygen is a basic human right. What if we worked on solving this and then work our way up to the joy rides of our own egos and offenses. I am offended that we are not.

That is all.

Confession from the Red Eye

Leaving Montana….

Arrived at the airport in Helena, Montana around 6 p.m…. yesterday! Flight left an hour or so later. Arrived in Salt Lake City and hung about for an hour or so, then at 11 p.m. caught the red eye to Atlanta. Why Atlanta, you ask: because Iโ€™m headed to Oklahoma City. Oh, wait… we just passed it and Iโ€™ve got to turn around and fly another couple of hours to get back to it. Well, such is the life of one on vacation: you occasionally have to pay for it.

To the confession: Iโ€™ve been wearing a mask the entire time. I am tired of the mask. I get the mask, but… so, as Iโ€™m walking the never ending concourses of the Atlanta airport, I see a fella has just finished cleaning the โ€œMenโ€™sโ€. No one else is around and Iโ€™m a rebel. I find myself a nice clean smelling stall, lock the door, rip off my mask, and just sit there for about ten minutes breathing eye-watering disinfected air free of my mask. It was brilliant! Please! No one tell the CDC.

It is now 5:52 a.m., โ€œDirty Laundryโ€ is playing loudly in some closed up bar, and Iโ€™m in search of coffee, because Iโ€™ve also learned that as long as you are holding something to eat or drink, you can legally keep the mask off. My coffee may be as cold as a divorce lawyer, but I wonโ€™t be setting that cup down until itโ€™s time to board.

Hereโ€™s hoping you have a mask free day from one living on the edge in toilet stalls across America.