WHAT are you saying, My child? Think of My suffering and that of the saints, and cease complaining. You have not yet resisted to the shedding of blood. What you suffer is very little compared with the great things they suffered who were so strongly tempted, so severely troubled, so tried and tormented in many ways. Well may you remember, therefore, the very painful woes of others, that you may bear your own little ones the more easily. And if they do not seem so small to you, examine if perhaps your impatience is not the cause of their apparent greatness; and whether they are great or small, try to bear them all patiently. The better you dispose yourself to suffer, the more wisely you act and the greater is the reward promised you. Thus you will suffer more easily if your mind and habits are diligently trained to it.
Do not say: “I cannot bear this from such a man, nor should I suffer things of this kind, for he has done me a great wrong. He has accused me of many things of which I never thought. However, from someone else I will gladly suffer as much as I think I should.”
Such a thought is foolish, for it does not consider the virtue of patience or the One Who will reward it, but rather weighs the person and the offense committed. The man who will suffer only as much as seems good to him, who will accept suffering only from those from whom he is pleased to accept it, is not truly patient. For the truly patient man does not consider from whom the suffering comes, whether from a superior, an equal, or an inferior, whether from a good and holy person or from a perverse and unworthy one; but no matter how great an adversity befalls him, no matter how often it comes or from whom it comes, he accepts it gratefully from the hand of God, and counts it a great gain. For with God nothing that is suffered for His sake, no matter how small, can pass without reward. Be prepared for the fight, then, if you wish to gain the victory. Without struggle you cannot obtain the crown of patience, and if you refuse to suffer you are refusing the crown. But if you desire to be crowned, fight bravely and bear up patiently. Without labor there is no rest, and without fighting, no victory.
THE DISCIPLE
O Lord, let that which seems naturally impossible to me become possible through Your grace. You know that I can suffer very little, and that I am quickly discouraged when any small adversity arises. Let the torment of tribulation suffered for Your name be pleasant and desirable to me, since to suffer and be troubled for Your sake is very beneficial for my soul.
TEMPORAL SUFFERINGS SHOULD BE BORNE PATIENTLY, AFTER THE EXAMPLE OF CHRIST
THE VOICE OF CHRIST
MY CHILD, I came down from heaven for your salvation and took upon Myself your miseries, not out of necessity but out of love, that you might learn to be patient and bear the sufferings of this life without repining. From the moment of My birth to My death on the cross, suffering did not leave Me. I suffered great want of temporal goods. Often I heard many complaints against Me. Disgrace and reviling I bore with patience. For My blessings I received ingratitude, for My miracles blasphemies, and for My teaching scorn.
THE DISCIPLE
O Lord, because You were patient in life, especially in fulfilling the design of the Father, it is fitting that I, a most miserable sinner, should live patiently according to Your will, and, as long as You shall wish, bear the burden of this corruptible body for the welfare of my soul. For though this present life seems burdensome, yet by Your grace it becomes meritorious, and it is made brighter and more endurable for the weak by Your example and the pathways of the saints. But it has also more consolation than formerly under the old law when the gates of heaven were closed, when the way thereto seemed darker than now, and when so few cared to seek the eternal kingdom. The just, the elect, could not enter heaven before Your sufferings and sacred death had paid the debt.
Oh, what great thanks I owe You, Who have shown me and all the faithful the good and right way to Your everlasting kingdom! Your life is our way and in Your holy patience we come nearer to You Who are our crown. Had You not gone before and taught us, who would have cared to follow? Alas, how many would have remained far behind, had they not before their eyes Your holy example! Behold, even we who have heard of Your many miracles and teachings are still lukewarm; what would happen if we did not have such light by which to follow You?
MY CHILD, allow me to do what I will with you. I know what is best for you. You think as a man; you feel in many things as human affection persuades.
THE DISCIPLE
Lord, what You say is true. Your care for me is greater than all the care I can take of myself. For he who does not cast all his care upon You stands very unsafely. If only my will remain right and firm toward You, Lord, do with me whatever pleases You. For whatever You shall do with me can only be good.
If You wish me to be in darkness, I shall bless You. And if You wish me to be in light, again I shall bless You. If You stoop down to comfort me, I shall bless You, and if You wish me to be afflicted, I shall bless You forever.
THE VOICE OF CHRIST
My child, this is the disposition which you should have if you wish to walk with Me. You should be as ready to suffer as to enjoy. You should as willingly be destitute and poor as rich and satisfied.
THE DISCIPLE
O Lord, I shall suffer willingly for Your sake whatever You wish to send me. I am ready to accept from Your hand both good and evil alike, the sweet and the bitter together, sorrow with joy; and for all that happens to me I am grateful. Keep me from all sin and I will fear neither death nor hell. Do not cast me out forever nor blot me out of the Book of Life, and whatever tribulation befalls will not harm me.
As most are aware, freedom of speech was not a cherished commodity within the former Soviet Union and most all were afraid to speak out in public. One incident (true or not, makes the point): During his years as premier of the Soviet Union, Nikita Khrushchev denounced many of the policies and atrocities of Joseph Stalin. Once, as he censured Stalin in a public meeting, Khrushchev was interrupted by a shout from a heckler in the audience. “You were one of Stalin’s colleagues. Why didn’t you stop him?” Without hesitation, Khrushchev roared, ”Who said that?” An agonizing silence followed as nobody in the room dared move a muscle for fear of being implicated. Then Khrushchev replied quietly, “Now you know why.”
However, this fear did not stop people from speaking out in private or even making jokes. Armenia, a former state of the USSR, had Radio Armenia, a fictitious radio station, which was the setting of many jokes about the Soviet Union. Their slogan: “Ask us whatever you want, we will answer you whatever we want.” Example:
Radio Armenia was asked: “Is it true that the poet Mayakovsky committed suicide?”
Radio Armenia answered: “Yes, it is true, and even the record of his very last words is preserved: ‘Don’t shoot, comrades.’”
Another (this was during the time of Reagan):
Q: Is it true that there is freedom of speech in the Soviet Union, just like in the USA?
A: In principle, yes. In the USA, you can stand in front of the White House in Washington, DC, and yell, “Down with Reagan!”, and you will not be punished. Equally, you can also stand in Red Square in Moscow and yell, “Down with Reagan!”, and you will not be punished.
There are times when we are truly free and there are times, as in the former Soviet Union, when we know that our freedom has certain limits to it.
The same is true within our relationship with God (minus the threat of violence that we saw in the Soviet Union). The Apostle Paul teaches us, “For you were called to freedom, brothers. Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another. For the whole law is fulfilled in one word: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’” And St. Peter writes, “Live as people who are free, not using your freedom as a cover-up for evil, but living as servants of God.” We are free from the captivity of sin so that we might worship and serve our God without fear and do so in holiness and righteousness.
Yet, there are times when we can act as though we are still captives in chains, even after Christ has set us free.
Harry Houdini, the famed escape artist issued a challenge wherever he went. He could be locked in any jail cell in the country, he claimed, and set himself free quickly and easily. Always he kept his promise, but one time something went wrong.
Houdini entered the jail in his street clothes; the heavy, metal doors clanged shut behind him. He took from his belt a concealed piece of metal, strong and flexible. He set to work immediately, but something seemed to be unusual about this lock. For thirty minutes he worked and got nowhere. An hour passed, and still he had not opened the door. By now he was bathed in sweat and panting in exasperation, but he still could not pick the lock.
Finally, after laboring for two hours, Harry Houdini collapsed in frustration and failure against the door he could not unlock. But when he fell against the door, it swung open! His jailer had forgotten to lock the cell!
Christ has set us free, but at times, we can still believe that we are chained. The result is that we look a good bit like the poor fella in our Gospel reading: “As Jesus stepped out on land, a man of the city who had demons met him. For a long time he had worn no clothes, and he did not live in a house but in the tombs… he was kept under guard and bound with chains and shackles, but he would break the bonds and be driven by the demon into the wilds.”
He was possessed, tormented by the demons. We too can be possessed, tormented by our own demons, those things that just won’t seem to let go of us. Those memories, sins, hurts, that follow us no matter where we go or what we do. They refuse to allow joy to be more than superficial. Just as we feel ourselves rising out of it, the devil reminds us of our past and pulls us back down.
The possessed man wore no clothes. Remember, back in the beginning, when Adam and Eve walked in the Garden, they were naked. Of this, Scripture says, “The man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.” But after they ate of the fruit, “the eyes of both were opened, and they knew that they were naked. And they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves loincloths.” And when God again walked in the Garden, they hid themselves from him. When God asked why they hid, Adam replied, “I heard the sound of you in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked, and I hid myself.” They were afraid. They were ashamed to appear before God, because of their nakedness, because of their sin.
Perhaps you’ve never had reason to, but I have felt shame for my sin to such an extent, that I didn’t want to pray. I didn’t want to have to come before God naked, in my sin. I don’t even want to look up, for fear that he will see my face.
Like the possessed man, haunted by his demons and running around naked, we too can be haunted by those sins that possess us and the shame we experience can drive us from God; and in the end, like the possessed man, through our fear and shame, we can find ourselves walking amongst the tombs, that is, walking as though we were still dead in sin, never realizing that we have been set free. We are Houdini, trying to break out of a prison that is already unlocked. And when Jesus comes to us and asks, ”What is your name?” We respond as the possessed man, “Legion.” We respond with the name of our own self condemnation. I am Legion. I am Sin. I am Pride. I am Lust. I am Greed. I am dead.
Why? Do you know what words you are least likely to believe coming from me, a priest? Perhaps I’ve shared this with you before, but during the Sacrament of Confession, following the confession and absolution (the assurance of God’s mercy and grace toward you), I will say to you, “The Lord has put away all your sins.” I would wager that most do not believe those words. “The Lord has put away all your sins.” And in our hearts, “If you say so Father, but we both know that’s not true.” The demon clings to us, we bow our heads in shame, and we declare, “I am Legion.” Captives even though we have been set free.
In John’s Gospel, Jesus told those who believed in him that if anyone practices sin, they are a slave to sin—that is, they are captives to sin, but that if they believed in the Truth, in Him, they would be set free, to which he adds, “If the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.” “The Lord has put away all your sins.” You have not been set free by the priest, you have been set free by the Son: the very Son of God and your name is not Legion. Your name is Child of God.
Following the Great Fire of London, late in the 17th century, St. Paul’s Cathedral, designed by Sir Christopher Wren, was completed. On one occasion Wren was making a tour of the work in progress. He came upon a man at work and asked him: “What are you doing?” The man said: “I am cutting this stone to a certain size and shape.” He came to a second man and asked him what he was doing. The man said: “I am earning so much money at my work.” He came to a third man at work and asked him what he was doing. The man paused for a moment, straightened himself and answered: “I am helping Sir Christopher Wren build St. Paul’s Cathedral.”
The locks and chains that bound you have been cast off. You are free to serve your God without fear. When you are asked your name, do not give some half hearted answer or act as one still captive, but straighten yourself and in complete faith declare, I am Child of God.
Let us pray:
From the depths of our hearts
we thank You, Dear Lord,
for Your infinite kindness in coming to us.
How good You are to us!
With Your most holy Mother and all the angels,
we praise Your mercy and generosity toward us,
poor sinners.
We thank You for nourishing our souls
with Your Sacred Body and Precious Blood.
We will try to show our gratitude to You
in the Sacrament of Your love,
by obedience to Your holy commandments,
by fidelity to our duties,
by kindness to our neighbor
and by an earnest endeavor
To become more like You in our daily conduct.
Amen.
WHATEVER I can desire or imagine for my own comfort I look for not here but hereafter. For if I alone should have all the world’s comforts and could enjoy all its delights, it is certain that they could not long endure. Therefore, my soul, you cannot enjoy full consolation or perfect delight except in God, the Consoler of the poor and the Helper of the humble. Wait a little, my soul, wait for the divine promise and you will have an abundance of all good things in heaven. If you desire these present things too much, you will lose those which are everlasting and heavenly. Use temporal things but desire eternal things. You cannot be satisfied with any temporal goods because you were not created to enjoy them.
Even if you possessed all created things you could not be happy and blessed; for in God, Who created all these things, your whole blessedness and happiness consists — not indeed such happiness as is seen and praised by lovers of the world, but such as that for which the good and faithful servants of Christ wait, and of which the spiritual and pure of heart, whose conversation is in heaven, sometime have a foretaste.
Vain and brief is all human consolation. But that which is received inwardly from the Truth is blessed and true. The devout man carries his Consoler, Jesus, everywhere with him, and he says to Him: “Be with me, Lord Jesus, in every place and at all times. Let this be my consolation, to be willing to forego all human comforting. And if Your consolation be wanting to me, let Your will and just trial of me be my greatest comfort. For You will not always be angry, nor will You threaten forever.”
The signs most of us are accustomed to are the ones that are printed. Examples of some original signs:
Along a windy mountain road: “Speed Limit Enforced by Sniper.”
Wood County West Virginia: “Our citizens have concealed weapons. If you kill someone, we will kill you back. We have ‘0’ jails and 513 cemeteries. Enjoy your stay.”
At a pub: “We have beers as cold as your ex’s heart.”
A library parking lot: “Library parking only: Violators will be held in low esteem.”
“Beware of Dog” and in smaller print, “The cat is also shady.”
“There are two rules for success: 1) Never reveal all you know. 2) …….
And one of my favorites: “Whatever you do, always give 100%. Unless you’re giving blood.”
There are other kinds of signs and perhaps one of the most popular is a sign from God. For example, there is the fella that was trying to lose some weight, so vowed to God not to stop at the donut shop unless there was a free parking spot directly in front. Some days that worked out really well, but most days he had to drive around the block at least five times. And still, there are others that look for more significant signs from God.
During the summer of 1944 the crematoriums were working a record pace at the Nazi concentration camp in Auschwitz. The air was constantly filled with smoke and ash of the thousands that were being murdered. In May of that year, Elaine Seidenfeld arrived at the camp and immediately learned of the realities and hardness of life there.
Stepping upon the platform from the train, she and her husband were separated, she was stripped and her hair was shaved, all the normal treatment of the Nazis was efficiently administered. She was then sent to a barrack where she found room to sleep on the third tier of a bunk squeezed in with twelve other women. One of those women, pointing in the direction of the crematoriums said, “Today it is them, tomorrow it will be us.” However, Elaine protested, “Not I. I will survive. I want to live and find my husband.” The old timers scoffed and said she didn’t know what she was talking about. They told her that one day, she also would be selected to die.
During May through August of that summer, many were selected, but she was not, however, in late August she heard her name called and knew it was her time. So along with 3,000 other women, she was marched to the showers, told to undress, and enter. They did, but instead of gas coming out of the showers, it was water. They were showered and then told to dress again and then ushered to the train station once more.
Upon arrival, they were forced into the cattle cars—150 women per car. Elaine had hoped to get close to the wall so she could possibly look out, but there was no way, there were no windows, and even if there had been, they were packed so closely that they were all like vertical boards, unable to move. Throughout the entire ordeal Elaine never stopped repeating to herself, “I want to live.. I want to live.”
Finally, stuck in the middle of that dark cattle car, she prayed, “My God, I want to live. If only I could find some promising sign. Something I could believe in. Something. Anything. Something that will indicate that I will live.”
As the train began to move, it jolted, and a small crack appeared between two wall boards of the cars. Elaine was amazed, and as they traveled, she began to see the blue sky, and suddenly, in the middle of the blue sky was a straight pure-white line. She was overjoyed. In her heart, she knew this was her sign. It was God. She declared, “O God, you have given Noah a rainbow and me this white line in heaven. I too will survive this deluge of blood, for this is a sign from heaven that you have inscribed my name in your Book of Life.” And she did. She survived many other trials before she was liberated, but with each trial, in her mind, she saw that pure white line, and she knew that God was with her and that she would survive. Following the war, unlike millions of others, she was reunited with her husband and her family.
An interviewer would later ask what she thought that white line was. Elaine’s response, “Does it really matter? It could have been nothing more than fumes from a passing airplane, but whatever it was it was my sign from heaven.”
For Elaine Seidenfeld, a little white line in the sky on a blue day was not only a sign, it was God. God in all of his fullness, glory, faithfulness, and power.
A shorter story: Little Johnny and a group of his friends go on their first camping trip. They find a spot deep in the woods to set up camp, they eat the sandwiches their mom’s have prepared and as it gets dark, they spend their time telling ghost stories trying to scare one another. As their campfire dims, one by one they begin to fall asleep. Johnny is the last boy awake and is still a bit too nervous to close his eyes, so in the now pitch black night, he stares up at the sky and the millions of stars. While taking in the vastness of it all, he has a rather philosophical moment, which is quite rare for most young boys, but in that instant, he understands that he is not the center of the world. In the stars and the in the spaces between the stars and even beyond the stars, in all that there is, for the first time, Johnny sees God
Along with his buddies, he had always understood that he had to behave because God was watching his every move, but now, just as Elaine Seidenfeld saw God in all of his fullness, glory, faithfulness and power in that little white line in a blue sky, Johnny also sees God in all of his fullness, glory, faithfulness, and power in the vastness of creation itself.
Of these two experiences, which best expresses that fullness, glory, faithfulness, and power of God? The answer is both. Throughout history, the Lord has always made himself known in the way that he knows we can see him.
We are told that during the Exodus, the Lord went before the Israelites by day in a pillar of cloud to lead the way, and by night in a pillar of fire to give them light, so that they could travel by day and night.
Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-Nego—also known as My-shack, Yo-shack, and Abungalow—were thrown into the furnace by King Nebuchadnezzar. The canticle we read today in place of the Psalm, was their song while in the furnace. However, as King Nebuchadnezzar watched them—not burning—he was astonished, rose in haste, and called out to his counselors, “Did we not cast three men bound into the midst of the fire?” They answered and said to the king, “True, O king.” “Then Look!” he answered, “I see four men loose, walking in the midst of the fire; and they are not hurt, and the form of the fourth is like the Son of God.” The three walked around in the burning furnace and with them was God.
Which of these experiences expresses the fullness, glory, faithfulness and power of God? Was it the pillar of fire or the fourth figure in the burning furnace? Again, it is both.
From a white line in a blue sky to a pillar of fire to the stars at night to a fourth figure dancing in the fire, God makes himself known in them all.
Today is Trinity Sunday. That day when we celebrate oneness of the Triune God. Mother Janie and I were discussing this and I’m pretty sure she has had to preach this sermon every year that I’ve been here—perhaps my subconscious way of not committing heresy. However, as I was thinking on this, we really cannot explain the Trinity of God with words—at least I can’t. We can only understand the Trinity in our experience of God. In the encounter.
My prayer for you is that you will encounter God: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, and like so many others before us, know the same fullness, glory, faithfulness, and power of of the Triune God. When you do, may it bring you to your knees in worship and praise.
Let us pray:
Glory be to the Father,
Who by His almighty power and love created us,
making us in the image and likeness of God.
Glory be to the Son,
Who by His Precious Blood delivered us from hell,
and opened for us the gates of heaven.
Glory be to the Holy Spirit,
Who has sanctified us in the sacrament of Baptism,
and continues to sanctify us
by the graces we receive daily from His bounty.
Glory be to the Three adorable Persons of the Holy Trinity, now and forever.
He wrote an essay that was published in London’s Illustrated News which inspired Mahatma Gandhi to transform all of India. His writings on the Christian faith were instrumental in the conversion of C.S. Lewis. George Orwell wrote the dystopian novel 1984, but the use of that year was inspired by the author of our saint for the day, Gilbert Keith Chesterton, more commonly referred to as G.K. Chesterton.
Chesterton wrote more than 80 books, contributed to hundreds more, he was a poet, novelist, essayist (having written over 4,000) and at his death, Pope Pius XI declared him a Defender of the Faith (although he did not convert to Catholicism until the end of his life, having been raised in the Church of England.).
He was a big man: six foot, four inches tall and some reports have him weighing in at nearly 400 pounds. He once said to his friend George Bernard Shaw, “To look at you, anyone would think a famine had struck England.” Shaw retorted, “To look at you, anyone would think you had caused it.” It is no wonder that he died early, at the age of 62, in 1936 and it was T.S. Eliot who wrote his obituary and remarked, Chesterton “did more than any man in his time … to maintain the existence of the [Christian] minority in the modern world.”
It seems what made him so influential wasn’t necessarily the volume of writing he put out, but the common sense of it all. A few examples:
“The Christian ideal has not been tried and found wanting; it has been found difficult and left untried.”
“These are the days when the Christian is expected to praise every creed except his own.”
“Most modern freedom is at root fear. It is not so much that we are too bold to endure rules; it is rather that we are too timid to endure responsibilities.”
“Art, like morality, consists of drawing the line somewhere.”
And one I hope to be able to work into a conversation some day: “You cannot grow a beard in a moment of passion.”
From our Gospel: Philip brought Nathanael to see Jesus. When Jesus saw Nathanael coming toward him, he said of him, “Here is truly an Israelite in whom there is no deceit!” When Jesus saw G.K. Chesterton walking toward him, Jesus said, “Here is an Englishman in whom there is no deceit!”
My friend Stephen King gives advice to writers: “Any word you have to hunt for in a thesaurus is the wrong word. There are no exceptions to this rule.” “…throw your thesaurus into the wastebasket.” I can say to you, ‘The Rosa hybrida is Japanese carmine,’ and most folks wouldn’t have a clue as to what I was talking about, or I could say to you ‘The rose is red,’ and everyone understands. Chesterton’s gift was that he spoke plainly with a great deal of common sense. We can learn to speak in a similar manner, plainly and truthfully, so that we can come into a deeper understanding of one another.
HOW ONE SHOULD FEEL AND SPEAK ON EVERY DESIRABLE THING
THE VOICE OF CHRIST
MY CHILD, this is the way you must speak on every occasion: “Lord, if it be pleasing to You, so be it. If it be to Your honor, Lord, be it done in Your name. Lord, if You see that it is expedient and profitable for me, then grant that I may use it to Your honor. But if You know that it will be harmful to me, and of no good benefit to the welfare of my soul, then take this desire away from me.”
Not every desire is from the Holy Spirit, even though it may seem right and good. It is difficult to be certain whether it is a good spirit or a bad one that prompts one to this or that, and even to know whether you are being moved by your own spirit. Many who seemed at first to be led by a good spirit have been deceived in the end.
Whatever the mind sees as good, ask and desire in fear of God and humility of heart. Above all, commit the whole matter to Me with true resignation, and say: “Lord, You know what is better for me; let this be done or that be done as You please. Grant what You will, as much as You will, when You will. Do with me as You know best, as will most please You, and will be for Your greater honor. Place me where You will and deal with me freely in all things. I am in Your hand; turn me about whichever way You will. Behold, I am Your servant, ready to obey in all things. Not for myself do I desire to live, but for You — would that I could do this worthily and perfectly!”
A PRAYER THAT THE WILL OF GOD BE DONE
Grant me Your grace, O most merciful Jesus, that it may be with me, and work with me, and remain with me to the very end. Grant that I may always desire and will that which is most acceptable and pleasing to You. Let Your will be mine. Let my will always follow Yours and agree perfectly with it. Let my will be one with Yours in willing and in not willing, and let me be unable to will or not will anything but what You will or do not will. Grant that I may die to all things in this world, and for Your sake love to be despised and unknown in this life. Give me above all desires the desire to rest in You, and in You let my heart have peace. You are true peace of heart. You alone are its rest. Without You all things are difficult and troubled. In this peace, the selfsame that is in You, the Most High, the everlasting Good, I will sleep and take my rest. Amen.
A defendant was on trial for murder. There was strong evidence indicating guilt, but there was no corpse. In the defense’s closing statement, the lawyer, knowing his client probably would be convicted, resorted to a trick.
“Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I have a surprise for you all,” the lawyer said as he looked at his watch.
“Within one minute, the person presumed dead in this case will walk into this courtroom.” He looked toward the courtroom door. The jurors, somewhat stunned, all looked on eagerly. A minute passed. Nothing happened.
Finally the lawyer said, “Actually, I made up the previous statement; but you all looked on with anticipation. Therefore, I put to you that you have a reasonable doubt in this case as to whether anyone was killed and insist that you return a verdict of not guilty.”
The jury, clearly confused, retired to deliberate. A few minutes later, the jury returned and pronounced a verdict of guilty.
“But how?” inquired the lawyer. “You must have had some doubt; I saw all of you stare at the door.”
The jury foreman replied, “Oh, we looked, but your client didn’t.”
Mark Galli is the Editor in Chief for the magazine Christianity Today and has recently been writing a series under the heading the “Elusive Presence.” It is actually some of the best writing I’ve read on the state of the church in quite some time. Perhaps what makes it so good is the fact that he is so desperately honest about himself. For example, here he is, the Editor in Chief of one of the largest Christian magazines, but he writes about his own crisis of faith: “It occurred to me that I didn’t feel any love for God. I also realized that even though I prayed and read Scripture regularly, not much in my life would be different if I didn’t pray and read my Bible. That is, I was living as a practical atheist, meaning my personal relationship with God did not really affect much inside me.” Throughout the article he continues to wrestle with this doubt and the reason behind these feelings. His conclusion is simple and sad: “We have forgotten God.” (Source) That is some serious soul searching.
As part of his efforts to understand this, Galli went back through the history of the church in America to the Great Awakening, a series of revivals, that took place in the 1730s and 40s, where he found the writings of Jonathan Edwards (considered one of the greatest American preachers) who gave an account of the ‘atmosphere.’ Edwards writes, “In all companies… on whatever occasions persons met together, Christ was to be heard of, and seen in the midst of them. Our young people, when they met, were wont to spend the time in talking of the excellency and dying love of Jesus Christ, the glory of the way of salvation, the wonderful, free, and sovereign grace of God, His glorious work in the conversion of a soul, the truth and certainty of the great things of God’s word, the sweetness of the views of His perfections.” (Source) That reminded me of what they said about St. Dominic: “Wherever the Master was, he always spoke either to God or about God.”
I spend a good bit of my time talking about God, but I don’t recall a conversation when I sat around with others discussing the excellency and dying love of Jesus. I spend a good deal of time teaching about the nature of God, but the glory of the way of salvation is not one of those topics. I can spend time with family and friends, but I don’t ever recall getting together with others with the soul intent of talking about Jesus.
I remember the first time I heard the expression “whitewash.” It was in The Adventures of Tom Sawyer, when Tom got in trouble and was forced to whitewash a fence as punishment. Whitewashing is a cheap way to cover a surface to make it look a little better, but that’s about it and everyone knows, so something that has been whitewashed is generally associated with the poor, therefore the saying, “Too proud to whitewash and too poor to paint.”
I understand what Mark Galli was saying about himself. Would it really matter if I stopped praying, studying, etc. Do I even love God or is my faith simply whitewash? Those are hard but important questions to ask, and just to make it a bit more difficult, I read about one of the desert fathers, Abba Theodore.
He was made a deacon at Scetis but he refused to exercise the office and fled to many places from it. Each time the old men brought him back to Scetis, saying, ‘Do not leave your diaconate.’ Abba Theodore said to them, ‘Let me pray God that he may tell me for certain whether I ought to take my part in the liturgy.’ Then he prayed God in this manner, ‘If it is your will then I should stand in this place, make me certain of it.’ Then appeared to him a column of fire, reaching from earth to heaven, and a voice said to him, ‘If you can become like this pillar, go be a deacon.’ On hearing this he decided never to accept the office.
I worry about being a whitewash priest and Abba Theodore won’t even function as a deacon because he can not be a pillar of fire that reaches from earth to heaven.
I suspect that to one degree or another, depending on the day, the hour, or even the minute, we can all feel this way. And we’re in good company. The great Apostle Peter: “Go away from me, Lord, for I am a sinful man.” Paul: “O wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death?” Mother Teresa: “Where is my faith? – even deep down, right in, there is nothing but emptiness and darkness.” Yet—and here is the Good News—even in the midst of these doubts, there is Pentecost. There is this Spirit of Fire, the very Spirit of God that has been placed in us all and it continually burns.
When I lived in Montana, I would help friends bail hay and then put it up in the barn for the winter. However, the hay had to have the right moisture content. Too dry and it lost all its nourishment. Too wet… at least once a year you would hear about someone who had put up their hay in the barn and when winter came along started using it. It would be stacked in bails as much as a dozen bails high or more. The outer rows would be fine, but after removing a few rows… completely burned up. The entire center, hundreds of bails, nothing but ashes. Why? The hay was too wet when they put it up, causing a chemical reaction that resulted in spontaneous combustion. The fire started at the center and burned very slowly outward, consuming everything. That’s not so good when when talking about hay barns, but it is the same idea when talking about this Spirit of God.
The Spirit is continually at work within us, burning away the impurities and leaving behind the pure image of God. When we are honest with ourselves and see how much work that remains, then we can doubt our worthiness and wonder if we really are just whitewashed Christians, and there is nothing wrong with these kinds of doubts, a much greater issue would be pride in thinking we’ve got it all worked out. There is no sin in the doubts, the only sin is when we truly give in and walk away. The doubts simply tell us of the work to be done, so instead of walking away, we call on the Triune God:
Come, Holy Ghost, our souls inspire, And lighten with celestial fire.
We call on God to fan the flames of Pentecost within our souls so that we may become those pillars of fire that reach to the heavens, so that the light of Christ and the fire of the Spirit may be seen by all.
You are no whitewashed Christians, even if you doubt. You are tabernacles of God Most High. His Spirit burns brightly within you all. On this day of Pentecost, ask the Lord to renew that Spirit within you and to let it burn even more brightly.
Let us pray: “Unless the eye catch fire, God will not be seen. Unless the ear catch fire, God will not be heard. Unless the tongue catch fire, God will not be named. Unless the heart catch fire, God will not be loved. Unless the mind catch fire, God will not be known.” (William Blake, “Pentecost”) Come, Holy Ghost, our souls inspire, And lighten our eyes, ears, tongues, hearts, and minds, That we may burn as pillars of fire As testaments to the work you perform in us. Amen.
Candle in a Cave 