How is it that you can go to the grocery store, spend $170, and still have nothing to eat in the house? To heck with enquiring minds want to know… my stomach would also appreciate an answer.
Today I preached (or at least that is what I call it) on the “Nicodemus Hour”. This is a thought that came via Christoph Cardinal Schönborn and refers to time spent with the Lord in the evening as Nicodemus did in John’s Gospel. I ran with that a bit and reflected on how we have some of our most intimate conversations at night… which is true… but what got cut from the sermon was the science / psychology behind “why.”
Feel free to search out the sciency terms yourself, but what it comes down to is that, at night, we are physically and mentally pooped out, we become more vulnerable, and less inhibited. Put another way, the fight-or-flight is done for the day, you’ve got a nice warm fuzzy going in your brain and it’s ready for nighty-night time, and all those night time chemicals that kick in to help you sleep are now loosening up your tongue. Bottom line: you’ll confess just about anything if you’re with someone you trust. Sounds very romantic. What I wanted to ask this morning (and didn’t or we would probably all still be there… except for the ones who gave up on an ending to the sermon and had already left): why is it that we have to be perfectly and completely exhausted before we can be honest and open with one another? No. I’m not going to spill my gray matter around on just anyone who wanders by, but isn’t it odd that our brains must be essentially liquored up with tiredness before we can be true to those we care most about? And the point I was making this morning during preachy time: we can’t even open up with God! for the exact same reasons we can’t open up to one another. Maybe this is just reason #1,559 as to why some saints are Saints and I’ll only make it (maybe) if I’m martyred. I think they figured out at least how to be open with God (I mean, let’s be honest, if you’re running around a monastery or convent where talking isn’t allowed, you’re not going to be having too many late night conversations with one another… am I right?) Here’s a thought: try telling someone the deepest thought on your mind / heart while you’re bright-eye-and-bushy-tailed. Could be fun or maybe you just shared too much (and if it has anything to do with dressing up like a unicorn and dancing down the center line if I-35, you may want to keep that one to yourself).
As I once read, “Not knowing is a good place to start.” And I’m drawing a blank on this, so I guess I’m getting started on… well, I was going to say finding an answer, but perhaps I best stick with ‘investigating’ on this one.
Let me know if you figure out the groceries thing… that one I do believe we can solve.
Thought for the day: “People Pleasers Anonymous” would need a stadium size meeting room. “Hello. My name is John and I’m a people pleaser.” “Hi, John! (John… John……) <– that’s the best I could for the echo effect in the stadium.
A young mom brought her two boys to church. The boys were old enough to know that they needed to sit quietly during the service and young enough to not quite be able to pull it off. As the sermon began, the fidgets set in. About half way through, the boys were about to enter into full on youngsters, so mom leaned over and quietly spoke to them. Next thing you know, the two boys were sitting quietly, with their hands in their laps. Following the service, another mom, who had witnessed the exchange, but who had not been as successful came up to the mom of the two boys, with admiration in her voice, asked what she had said to settle the boys down so quickly. “I just reminded them,” she said, “that if they weren’t quiet, Fr. John would lose his place and have to start all over again.”
Listening to someone talk can at times be completely engaging and at other times… bring on the fidgets. I always thought it would be nice to have Professor Slughorn’s hourglass to judge these things by.
For those who don’t know Professor Slughorn, he was Harry Potter’s potions professor at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, and in his office he had a most peculiar hourglass. It is not in the books, only the movie, but the professor describes it to Harry by saying, “A most intriguing object, the sand runs in accordance with the quality of the conversation. If it is stimulating the sand runs slowly, if it is not….” Well, he doesn’t finish the sentence and I won’t spoil the movie, but you get the idea. At the end of that scene, the sand isn’t running at all. I suppose that would be a useful tool in preaching.
As I think on such an hourglass and consider some of the conversations I’ve had, I can see the sand flowing freely with some and at other times, not even a whisper of movement. What’s interesting though, is the time of day when most of those conversations occur. Have you ever noticed? Early in the morning, I don’t even talk to the cat. In the middle of the day, I can be a bit keyed up. I try to slow down when I’m with folks, but there’s always that invisible hand on my back, pushing me just a bit to get to the next thing. That’s probably true for most, but at night, when we’ve met our responsibilities and filled our duties for the day, then it seems we can get down to the real business of actually living and having those deep, intimate conversations where the sand in the hourglass slows perceptibly, because the world and our minds are just a bit more hushed.
Think of those conversations you’ve had with one you love. You can stay up all night talking and feel more rested in the morning than if you’d had eight hours of sleep. Later at night is the time when we speak most intimately to one another and I believe that it is also the time when we speak most intimately with God.
I am not suggesting that you start laying in bed at night to pray, because 9.9 times out of ten, you’ll just fall asleep, but in the evening, when the day is done, it really is a good time to settle in with God to have one of those intimate conversations. Those conversations with God, at that time of the day, even have a name: the Nicodemus Hour. (Source: Behold, God’s Son, Christoph Cardinal Schönborn, p.165)
“There was a Pharisee named Nicodemus, a leader of the Jews. He came to Jesus by night and said to him, ‘Rabbi, we know that you are a teacher who has come from God; for no one can do these signs that you do apart from the presence of God.’”
There is so much to learn from the words of Jesus that follow. He expresses the deepness, even unto death, of God’s love for us, but today, instead of looking at the words, I want us to look at the setting and the event.
Christoph Cardinal Schönborn says that Nicodemus came at night for one of two reasons: he was afraid of being found out or because he understood that this was the time of day when individuals can finally sit together, mostly uninterrupted and have those intimate conversations. Perhaps he came for one reason or the other or both, but it is the intensity of the conversation, the revelation of God’s truths, the exploration and explaining of the mysteries of God that are the most important, and it demonstrates to us that if we hope to even to begin to understand those mysteries ourselves, then we too need those Nicodemus Hours with Jesus.
Take for example today: this is Trinity Sunday. I’ll never forget Melba Marshall. She lived in Deer Lodge, Montana and I met her my first year out of seminary. In the midst of a very pleasant conversation, she casually said, “Explain to me the Holy Trinity.” My answer today is probably no better than it was sixteen years ago, and it wasn’t very good then. Why? Because the Holy Trinity is not something you explain. The Holy Trinity is only something you know and you only know It because you’ve spent a Nicodemus Hour, that intimate time with Jesus. Billy Graham said, “Can you see God? You haven’t seen him? I’ve never seen the wind. I see the effects of the wind, but I’ve never seen the wind. There’s a mystery to it.” It is in that intimate time with Jesus that the mysteries of God take on flesh and blood, so that we can at least ‘feel’ them, get a sense of them and perhaps for a moment or two, know them.
Today, I encourage you: spend a Nicodemus Hour with one another. Get to know each other outside of the busyness of the day, so that you might be more intimately bound together as the Body of Christ. But I also encourage you to spend that Nicodemus Hour with Jesus, for it is there that you may truly encounter God. Perhaps you will spend the night talking or maybe you’ll spend time, hunkered down in the stillness of the night, just being together, for the pure joy of each other’s company, but one thing is certain… the sand in the hourglass will stop flowing.
Let us pray: Glory be to the Father, Who by His almighty power and love created me, making me in the image and likeness of God.
Glory be to the Son, Who by His Precious Blood delivered me from hell, and opened for me the gates of heaven.
Glory be to the Holy Spirit, Who has sanctified me in the sacrament of Baptism, and continues to sanctify me by the graces I receive daily from His bounty.
Glory be to the Three adorable Persons of the Holy Trinity, now and forever.
What is this, you ask. It appears to be nothing extraordinary. Merely dots on the surface of some sludge from the nether regions of Hades, but… Ah… to the Vintner (Amateur) Extraordinaire, it is a specific yeast fulfilling its life purpose in the fermenting of a most exquisite Pinot Grigio. If you were a wee yeast, you would be o-so-gratified in knowing that you have been chosen to consume the sugars of so fine an Italian grape and transform it into…. well, we shall just have to see. It still doesn’t have a name, but… were I writing this in the time of cholera, it would have notes of love and paddle-boat cruises along a lazy river… I digress. Here’s to winemaking… a joy and always a surprise when you have that first sip. In another three months we shall know if it is a gift from above or a vinaigrette deserving of the toilet!
I have been thinking on expectations… amongst other things. Not the expectations of what Santa shall bring us in 213 days, but the expectations we place on others. The expectations of what we shall have them BE for us. I think of myself (as this is my journal…duh) and I wonder of the expectations that others have of me. A good sermon? A smile? A counselor? A confidant? A………? There are many ways to fill that [blank], but how often do our expectations coincide with who the person really is? How often do we truly SEE them and say, “This is who they are and I accept them for that. I love them for that.” I think it is rare. I think when we agree to engage with another, we bring many expectations as to who we believe they are, who we want them to be, and who we think we can TRANSFORM them into, but at the end of the day (what a terrible expression) they are who the are and we are who we are. We either like / love them at face value or we reject them for a multitude of reasons (how many stars are there in the heavens above!!) or we seek to change them into our likeness (that is, the desired automaton of our choosing). Other than option #1, what we like / love is nothing more than a figment of both our imaginings. Not real and will never last. Option #1… this way, love lies…..
Perhaps it is time for me to go watch a zombie movie (or watch my yeast ferment my wine). I have thunk my last thought for today and it comes back to…. hmmm.
May your bubble bath always be bubbly and may your cat always want to sit on your hands while you type.
Thought for the day: 5.6 is too small of a font size. No one can see it.
They are odd. Unless you know what you’re looking for, you’ll never buy them. If you buy them by mistake, they’ll sit on your shelves for years. If you know what they are and how to use them, when you find them, you’ll buy every box they have. Of course, we are speaking about the manicotti pasta shell. A substitute is the large sea shell, but most of the time you’ll only find the small / medium sea shell which are a bear to stuff and not more than a mouthful per shell, but if you’re going to do it right… manicotti shells. Recipe you ask: here you go. What is so brilliant about this recipe is that it is a no boil (the shells) before cooking, so you’re not trying to insert the ricotta cheese, etc. into a wiggly squiggly chicken neck. Mix up the cheeses et al and then put them all into a zip-lock bag, snip off one corner and pipe the deliciousness into the shell. Easy peasy and very very tasty! Serve up with some homemade bread, Caesar salad, and a bit of homemade wine and folks will be oh so very happy. End it with whatever desert the guest brought and a bit of Benedictine…. are you wanting a reservation yet?!… and the evening is set and perfect. I recommend a bit of Sting or Dido in the background.
One of the more “attractive” loaves of bread I’ve made.
For the record: I did have this one tonight and…. yeah. Who’s your daddy?!
Today is Monday–for 1:15 more minutes–and I’m about done. Caught up from the vacation, as far as I can tell, and moving into the quieter summer months. The Queen appears to be happy (although I think she wanted a bit of Manicotti) and she allowed me to clean her box.
Have ordered the grape juice (not Welch’s) for the next batch of wine. Making a Pinot Grigio this round. This is a fun one to make. The last batch looked as cloudy and “bleh” as a pot of gumbo, but when it finally cleared… golden deliciousness. Elsie is so very tasty! Have not decided on a name for it yet, but generally that doesn’t come along until after we have fermentation… then… yeah… I’m thinking it will be delicioso! or however they spell that one.
Hoping you have a great Tuesday!
Thought for the day: Some things that hurt are worth the pain.
The Day of Pentecost has been good. Church went well, the sermon preached better than I had expected, and the picnic was a success. Still looking for more to return to church, but it was great to be there minus the mask. Summer is always quiet around St. M’s, so I’m not expecting it to get too crazy over the next couple of months, but I’m hopeful that by the time we reach early fall, folks will be returning. We shall see… or I may have to give a few lectures! Ha!
I’ve been having some thoughts on the direction that I would like to go with regard to the St. M’s. I’m hoping they will be up for it. I keep asking myself how far we can reach… just within Enid city limits, Garfield County, or…. I’m thinking “or”, but I’m still working on what that will look like. We’re the only Episcopal Church for 60 miles, so maybe we can… hmmm. Enough for now. Don’t want to start scaring folks off before I’ve got a vision. It is percolating.
Time for a bit of reading. Pray you have a blessed evening.
She told her mother, “David proposed to me an hour ago.”
“Then why are you so sad?” her mother asked.
“Because he also told me he is an atheist. Mom, he doesn’t even believe there’s a Hell.”
“Marry him anyway,” mom replied. “Between the two of us, we’ll show him how wrong he is.”
There have been many who have been proven wrong on some very large scales:
In 1934, the president of IBM said, “I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.” And in 1977, the founder of DEC said, “There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.” On that same note, in 1966 it was predicted that remote shopping (online shopping) would flop because “women like to get out of the house, like to handle the merchandise, like to be able to change their minds.” Hello, Amazon. In 1876, the telephone was said to have “too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as a means of communication” and as late as 1981 it was predicted that cell phones would absolutely not replace landlines. The list goes on. In many respects, it seems that making a prediction or stating what you consider to be a truth is a bit like daring someone to prove you wrong… and there are more than enough folks who will take you up on the dare. The same is true with our faith. How so?
Today, we will say the Nicene Creed: “I believe in God, the Father Almighty…”, then we will say the Confession and receive the absolution that is promised by God, and a bit later we will receive the Body and the Blood of Christ, food for the soul and for our salvation; we will speak all these things that are truths, and in doing so, we are daring the devil and the world to prove those truths wrong. And you know what? The devil and the world go to work on us immediately. No sooner have we walked out the doors, than they both go on full assault.
It can begin by the insertion of events that may not cause you to full on doubt, but that do rob you of a little bit of peace that you experienced while here. It can come in the form of small questions to what we believe: “Ya know, that ‘born of the Virgin Mary’ business seems just a bit too far fetched. It’s nice at Christmas, but… eh.” Then we run up against some of the bigger problems: “Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.” “Good… all except for Bob, because God and all the angels know that Bob is unforgivable.” And then there is the one that trips most everyone up: “Almighty God have mercy on you, forgive you all your sins….” Absolution of our sins. We can never really believe that one.
You know the game Jenga? It is the one with the stack of blocks built into a tower. The objective is to strategically remove blocks from the tower to destabilize it without making it fall in hopes that those you are playing against will make a mistake and bring the entire thing down.
We’ve come in here and we’ve spoken the truth about who we are and what we believe, but no sooner have we left the building—if not sooner!—than the devil and the world begin to play Jenga with our lives. Like Samantha and her mom who intended to prove there was a hell to the unsuspecting David, those that would come against us have taken the dare and one piece at a time they will seek to bring us down, but… the only way they can truly accomplish this is if we believe them instead of believing the truth spoken by the God who created us, and we know this truth because our Creator has given us a part of Himself. God has given us His Holy Spirit. Jesus said, “When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all the truth.”
I believe that I’ve shared this with you before. It was said by, the Patriarch of Antioch, Ignatius IV of the Greek Orthodox Church while speaking to the World Council of Churches in 1968: “Without the Holy Spirit God is far away. Christ stays in the past. The Gospel is simply an organization. Authority is a matter of propaganda. The Liturgy is no more than an evocation. Christian loving is a slave mentality. But in the Holy Spirit, the cosmos is resurrected and grows with the birth pangs of the Kingdom. The Risen Christ is here. The Gospel is the power of life. The Church shows forth the life of the Trinity. Authority is a liberating service. Mission is a Pentecost. The Liturgy is both renewal and anticipation. Human action is deified.” This is the Spirit that was given to us by God and it is this Spirit that speaks the truth into our souls and minds. Those that would sow seeds of doubt into our beliefs and our faith are very much aware of this Spirit. They know of the strength and courage that this Spirit provides to us, therefore, they enter in to crush that truth. They cannot destroy the truth, so they spread lies, whisperings that take hold within us, causing us to question the things we hold most dear and the promises of Christ. So what are we to do?
Remember Peter: he and the others are out on the lake when they see Jesus walking on the water. They think it is a ghost, but Jesus says, “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.” Jesus has spoken a truth. So Peter says to Jesus, “If it’s you, tell me to come to you on the water.” Jesus said, “Come.” So Peter stepped out of the boat and he too walked on the water, but then the wind blew and the waves rolled and the doubt entered in. Peter began to sink. Yet Peter kept enough sense about him to turn to and call out to the only one who could save him, “Lord… Jesus.. save me!” We know that he did and I can imagine Jesus laughing and smiling broadly when he said to Peter, “You of little faith, why did you doubt?”
Through the gift of the Holy Spirit, we have been given the truth about our faith and the truth about who we are—sons and daughters of God—when you begin to sense those seeds of doubt being planted, like Peter, call out, “Lord, save me.” Lord, save me from those who would seek to hide the truth from me by spreading lies within my soul. Lord, save me by kindling the fire of your Spirit that is within me, so that all doubts are burned away. Pray, “Lord, save me,” and he who died for you will hear you and he will reach out his hand and snatch you out of the grasp of those who would come against you.
Let us pray (a prayer of St. Augustine): Breathe into us, Holy Spirit, that our thoughts may all be holy.
Move in us, Holy Spirit, that our work, too, may be holy.
Attract our hearts, Holy Spirit, that we may love only what is holy.
Strengthen us, Holy Spirit, that we may defend all that is holy.
Protect us, Holy Spirit, that we may always be holy.
So the first day back from the vacation consisted of 12.5 hours of work (there was a 2.5 hour Zoom call in there, which really makes it seem longer!) However, days two and three back from work are my days off (and yes, I will be working, but still!) It could be worse. What I missed most about the day was having the opportunity to do Morning Prayer with my online group (see 2.5 hour Zoom call if you’re wondering where I was.) That has turned into a very special time of day for me. It seems that sometimes I have something to say and other days… not so much, but… we prayed together and that is a good thing. God makes great even our most feeble attempts!
While on the vaca, I finished reading the book Anxious People by Fredrik Backman. I give it ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️. Loved this book. There are several quotes I could share (and will in some upcoming sermons), but the one that made me laugh out loud (causing the person next to me on the plane to be concerned for the next hour or so) involved the goose….
You mustn’t throw stones at birds. We all agree on that. Except maybe swans, because swans can actually be passive-aggressive little bastards. But apart from swans, you mustn’t throw stones at birds. And you mustn’t tell lies. Unless… well, sometimes you have to, of course, like when your children ask: “Why does it smell like chocolate in here? ARE YOU EATING CHOCOLATE?” but you definitely mustn’t…
When you actually type out the word “mustn’t” you really do wonder how that word truly exists!
… steal or kill, we can agree on that.
It goes on from there and you eventually fall into the rhythm and style. The last 20-30 pages of this one are worth reading more than once, just to make sure you put it all together. The author also wrote, A Man Called One. That one is next, following the current read, Project Hail Mary (sci-fi) and One Hundred Years of Solitude (not sci-fi).
Thought for the day: Enjoy interruptions. They are really God trying to get you off your butt to do what it is you are supposed to be doing.
As has been pointed out, online journaling may not be all that wise, seeing as how yesterday I posted about spending ten minutes in an airport bathroom stall just so I wouldn’t have to wear my mask, but… here we find ourselves.
The Queen at rest…
This is the last day of my two week vacation and the Queen and I have spent it together doing just about what you see her doing here. Besides, she was laying in my lap and it would have been quite rude of me to disturb her. Yesterday, after I picked her up, she was a hissing spitting alley cat, but she has remembered that I am her faithful servant, forgiven me, and is once again deigning to allow me to scoop her poop (which has no stink… naturally.)
I have had some guilt about not working today and responding to emails, but I have managed to overcome those feelings with a nap of my own. Interesting that we need vacations, take vacations, and feel guilty for not working on vacations. I keep reminding myself that St. Matthew’s survived 120 some odd years without me and they’ll be just fine whether I’m gone for another a day or forever. Yet, I enjoy them and I enjoy being their priest, so perhaps it’s not so much me feeling guilty as it is me ready to get back in the mix doing the work…. it is a good work. Even so, I can’t help but think of this song…
Don’t forget to dance, even if you have two left feet.
Thought for the day: love is neither a verb or noun. Love is a person.
I’ve decided to give something a try: online journaling. On the main journal page you will read….
A place to wander and think. Not sure how long this will last or how often I will post in this category. It is an experiment. Feel free to ignore, comment, etc… just don’t argue. It is a place for thinking and all my thunking might not agree with your thunking, but that really is OK. Perhaps between the two of us, we’ll figure something important out or at least enjoy a bit of time together. If you have a place where you like to think, share that and I’ll join you along the thinking journey.
That’s pretty much it for the official notice. Please feel free to unsubscribe if you’ve signed up for email notifications of blog posts and just don’t want to receive this much information.
Candle in a Cave 