Relationship – Candle in a Cave

31 May 202631 May 2026

Sermon: Trinity Sunday RCL A – “Fear or Desire”

A man has been visiting a therapist because he has been afraid of monsters living under his bed. He has been seeing this doctor for months. Every time he came in, the doctor would ask, “Have you made any progress?” Every time, the man would say, “No.” The man decided to see another doctor. When he went back to his other doctor and the doctor asked, “Have you made any progress?” he said, “Yes, I am feeling all better now.” The doctor asked, “What happened?” The man said, “I went to another doctor, and he cured me in one session.” The doctor asked, “What did he tell you?” The man said, “He just told me to cut the legs off my bed.”

My friend Stephen King, in his book Danse Macabre, discusses the three types of fear and later, in a social media post, sums them up. There is the Gross Out, the slimy stuff slapping you in the face; the Horror, things like giant spiders and the walking dead; and his favorite, the Terror. He describes it as, “when you come home and notice everything you own had been taken away and replaced by an exact substitute. It’s when the lights go out, and you feel something behind you, you hear it, you feel its breath against your ear, but when you turn around, there’s nothing there…” The monster under the bed is a terror.

For me, I can go with a little gross-out, but if it becomes too predictable or gratuitous, I’ll turn it off; however, it is wildly popular. Just consider the number of ways Jason killed off some witless teenager in the Friday the 13th movies. The Horror, I can go either way. For example, Sharknado should have won an Oscar, but when it gets into giant spiders or magical creatures, not so much. However, give me a good (or even bad) zombie movie, and I’ll buy tickets for everyone. Yet, the Terror, the slow burn, I’m sucked into every time. I’m more than happy to have a movie or book mess with my head.

There are many who live for the good scare, but even for those who don’t, fear is an exceptional motivator. Those who have figured this out down to a science are the ones trying to sell us something.

Using Mr. King’s scale, the marketing people use the Gross Out by making us afraid of a fungus that can turn our toenails yellow. They appeal to the Horror by reminding us that each and every morning, our breath is so bad that we scare the cat. And they attempt to create the Terror by telling us that our current insurance company won’t really help us following the inevitable and ever-present disaster. Politicians are particularly adept at the Terror—a vote for me can save you from world domination under my opponent (and if they call or text me one more time, I’m going to pray they are visited in the middle of the night by some fantastic Gross Out Terror).

What is curious is that—based on how and why these fears are employed—they often motivate us to action. I’ve got a yellow toenail; I’d better tell my doctor I need that medicine. I may have cat-scaring breath; I’d better buy that mouthwash. I’m afraid of world domination; I’d better vote for that candidate. We do these things, yet they are all equivalent to saying, “I’m going to saw the legs off the bed because of the monster under there.”

Fear motivates, and if there is one organization that learned this very early on, it is the Church. We are very good at it. The book we are reading now for book club, The Sinner’s Guide, has a tremendous chapter on it. Speaking of those who will suffer the torments of damnation, the author writes, “What will they say when they will find themselves stretched upon a bed of fire, surrounded by sulfurous flames, not for one short summer night, but for all eternity?” “If one of these unhappy souls, says a Doctor of the Church, were to shed one tear every thousand years, and if these tears accumulated to such a flood as to inundate the world, he would still be as far as ever from the end of his sufferings. Eternity would only be at its beginning.” (p.76) That’s a good motivator right there. However, last week I was reading one of several short devotionals by St. Alphonsus Liguori, and he wrote, “Although no punishment awaited those who love Thee not, I would never leave off loving Thee, and I would do all I could to please Thee.” (The Love of Jesus Crucified, p.172) That really made me stop and think.

What if there were no punishment—no hell? Don’t misunderstand. There is a hell, and I firmly believe it will be far worse than anything we can imagine, but, momentarily setting Scripture and Doctrine aside, what if there wasn’t? What if it were like the monster under the bed, something we’re told as little kids to make us behave, but that everyone really knows isn’t real? What if you were free to choose God or not, with no painful consequences for not choosing?

If you choose God, you receive eternal life and all that Jesus offers. If you don’t, well, maybe you just blink out or something. No pain, no punishment, none of that. You are free to do whatever pleases you. If that were the case, would you still be here today? Would you still try to follow Jesus’ commandments? If that were the case, would your relationship with God mean anything to you?

For some, the answer is, “Heck, no. I’m out of here.” For them, their relationship is based solely on fear. For that person, if there is nothing to fear, there is no reason to be here at all, because that relationship is master and slave, yet instead of God being the Master, fear is. Dispense with the fear, and the slave does whatever he or she wants. It is a purely transactional relationship—I’ll do what you say, and you keep me out of hell.

For others, when asked why they are here, they might answer, “I don’t know that I would be here, but I would certainly hope so. I want what Jesus offers.” This person has begun to understand that fear may have brought them here and into the relationship in the first place, but they’re beginning to sense that there is something more they are being drawn to. A shift has begun to take place, and that shift marks the beginning of transformation.

Finally, the third group answers in a way that brings us back to what Liguori said, “Although no punishment awaited those who love Thee not, I would never leave off loving Thee, and I would do all I could to please Thee.” For them, it is not about fear or even hope. It is a declarative statement that says, “I desire nothing but to be with my God, so if I have to renounce everything of this world and all it has to offer, I will do it. I will seek God alone.” This goes beyond transformation and marks the beginning of transfiguration—living into the fullness of the image of God within, the Image we were created in. As we read,

“God created humankind in His image,
in the image of God He created them;
male and female He created them.” (Genesis 1:27)

It is a desire to walk with God as Adam and Eve did in the beginning.

So, back to the original question: why are you here? Fear? Hope? Desire? For me, a truthful answer is: it depends on the day. Ask me today, and I will tell you that I am 98% here out of desire and 2% because, well… I am a priest. However, if you had asked me earlier in the week, when my stomach wasn’t behaving, my air conditioner hadn’t been working for over a week, I couldn’t sleep at night because it was hot, and the repair folks were being unresponsive… Let’s just say that it is a good thing I believe in hell, otherwise I would have called down the same Gross Out Terror on them that I want to visit the politicians.

I suspect the same is true for all of us. The prayer is that the trajectory always seeks the higher place, always desiring God above all else—diminishing fear, then transformation, and finally transfiguration. This is what we should desire because it is what God desires for us. Is that true?

Today is Trinity Sunday, the day we celebrate our Triune God—Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Speaking on behalf of the Trinity, Jesus said, “I no longer call you slaves… I call you friends.” (John 15:15) Jesus also said, “Anyone who loves me will obey my teaching. My Father will love them, and we will come to them and make our home with them.” (John 14:23) Jesus desires that we be friends, and the Holy Trinity desires to take up residence within our souls. God calls each of us to desire Him as much as He desires us. If we can do so, only a fraction as much as He desires us, it is a very good beginning.

If you are here because you fear the alternative, you have begun. If you are here because you hope for Heaven, your hope will never be in vain. And if you are here because you desire God, fan the flames of that desire to an even greater degree.

Gregory of Nyssa wrote, “The one who climbs never stops going from beginning to beginning, through beginnings that have no end.” Regardless of where you are, never stop climbing and always increase your desire for a deeper relationship with God: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.

Let us pray: (a prayer of Saint Anselm) O Lord, my God, teach us to seek you, for we cannot seek you unless you teach us, or find you unless you show yourself to us. Let us seek you in our desire; let us desire you in our seeking. Let us find you by loving you; let us love you when we find you. Amen.

10 June 2023

Sermon: Proper 5 RCL A – “Desire Relationship”

A note to the reader: I’m starting to share my sermons with whoever would like to preach them, which means they will be posted on the blog prior to Sunday so that they are available. Should you attend services at St. Matthew’s, you may want to wait until after the service to read. If you read before the service, please don’t spoil the jokes by shouting out the answers before I’ve told them or discussing them beforehand. I write sermons to be heard, not necessarily read. Thanks.

A woman testified to the transformation in her life that had resulted from her experience in conversion to the Christian faith. She declared, “I’m so glad I got religion. I have an uncle I used to hate so much that I vowed I’d never go to his funeral. But now, why, I’d be happy to go to it any time.”

Christy shared with me the premise of the book The Measure by Nikki Erlick. Afterward, hearing the premise, I wanted to read it, and knowing the premise won’t spoil it for you as it is put forward in the first few pages.

On a particular day, everyone in the world—whether they live in the middle of a sprawling metropolis or are a member of some undiscovered tribe of South America—receives a small box. On the lid of the box is the person’s name and the phrase, “The measure of your life lies within.” Within is a piece of string. What is learned is that both the box and the string are indestructible, and, more importantly, the length of the string represents the length of your life.

After a short time, the scientists come out with a measuring device, and you can measure your string to find out when you will die. How convenient. Some open their boxes and are the first to learn their fate, and others do not, having no desire to know. From there, the story plays out several scenarios, showing the various implications of having and controlling such information. However, what was clear—and a bit obvious—was that the “short-stringers,” those whose lives would soon come to an end, began to live their lives and do those things that they’ve always wanted to and believed would make them happy. That’s what got me to thinking this week, and it reminded me of another book and a particular object. The book is one of great importance and intrigue: Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone. The object I was thinking of: the Mirror of Erised. For a moment, please bare with the twelve-year-old that runs around inside my head.

The Mirror of Erised—Erised is desire spelled backward. According to the all-wise Professor Albus Dumbledore, the mirror shows us the “deepest, most desperate desire of our hearts.” Harry Potter’s parents died when he was a baby, so when he looks in the mirror, he sees himself with his parents standing beside him. Ron Weasley sees himself as a champion and very handsome.

The problem is that Harry keeps returning time after time, spending hours sitting in front of the mirror, gazing at his parents. This is when Professor Dumbledore steps in. He says to Harry, “Men have wasted away before it, not knowing if what they have seen is real, or even possible,” and that “It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live.” When it comes to being happy, the professor says, “The happiest man on earth would be able to use the Mirror of Erised like a normal mirror; that is, he would look into it and see himself exactly as he is.”

This week, those two ideas—the measure of the string and the Mirror of Erised—came together in my head. I wondered why we would wait until the end to seek out and fulfill those things that would make us happy. If you knew something would bring you happiness, why would you wait until you learned you were going to die to fulfill it? To live it?

Dan Gilbert wrote the book, Stumbling on Happiness. He writes, “We treat our future selves as though they were our children, spending most of the hours of most of our days constructing tomorrows that we hope will make them happy… But our temporal progeny are often thankless.” (Source) When I have more time, I’ll write a book. When I have enough money saved up for retirement, then I’ll take that trip. When things are more secure, I’ll apply for the job I really want.

The piece of string in the book is a literary tool that points to a greater truth. A biblical truth. The Psalmist says to the Lord, “Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me when as yet there was none of them.” Jesus said, “Which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?” The string is fictional, but the number of our days is set. There is no changing them.

Everyone is now thinking, “I’m so glad I came to church this morning. This is such an uplifting and joyous message.” I get that, but it is not a message to depress you. It is a message to inspire. The message: your days are numbered; quit wasting them by looking for happiness in places where you will not find it.

Gilbert, the author of Stumbling on Happiness, was asked in an interview, “How do I find happiness?” He began his answer by saying, “People have been writing books that promise to answer that question for roughly two thousand years, and the result has been a lot of unhappy people and a lot of dead trees.” (Source) We look in that mirror and see all the things that we desire. All the things we believe will make us happy, but we are wrong in our desires.

A scientist, over a considerable period, studied 1,600 Harvard graduates. He writes, “Turns out, there was one—and only one—characteristic that distinguished the happiest 10 percent from everybody else: the strength of their social relationships…. social support was a far greater predictor of happiness than any other factor, more than GPA, family income, SAT scores, age, gender, or race.” “The capacity to love and be loved was the single strength most clearly associated with subjective well-being at age eighty.” (Source) Relationships.

OK, Father John, this is all very interesting, but you haven’t said a word about Jesus—about God. But if you know me, you know that this is ALL about God. God—Father, Son, and Holy Spirit—and the Imago Dei, the image of God we encounter in one another.

We read the words that the Lord spoke through Hosea, “In their distress they will beg my favor: ‘Come, let us return to the Lord; for it is he who has torn, and he will heal us; he has struck down, and he will bind us up.” Relationship. From our lesson in Romans: Abraham “grew strong in his faith as he gave glory to God, being fully convinced that God was able to do what he had promised.” And this faith was reckoned to Abraham as righteousness, and through Abraham, it is reckoned to us. Relationship.

“As Jesus was walking along, he saw a man called Matthew sitting at the tax booth; and he said to him, ‘Follow me.’” Matthew said, “I was looking in this mirror, and it showed me fat and happy. Lots of cash, big house on the hill, trophy wife, and 2.5 kids. Once I have all that, I’ll have my people get in touch.” No. Matthew “got up and followed him.” Relationship. “Many tax collectors and sinners came and were sitting with [Jesus] and his disciples.” Relationship with Jesus and with one another.

Jesus raised the young girl from the dead, and He does the same for us in this life and the next so that we might be in an eternal relationship with Him.

Last week I spoke about how through God’s grace—His undeserved favor—we are the recipients of God’s unfailing love, and through this love, we are invited into the very presence of God. Our response to that love and invitation determines whether or not we will enter into this relationship with Him. It is figuratively looking into Harry Potter’s mirror and seeing the One True Object of our desire, the One and only One that brings to fulfillment all other desires—ourselves with God and one another in relationship.

Jesus said, “Do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’” Jesus said, ‘Don’t be anxious about the false desires you see in the mirror.’ “For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.”

You will never receive a box with a piece of string, you will never know the number of your days, and you will never need to. It is truly irrelevant. You only need to know that on this day, you are loved by God, and by receiving, responding, and experiencing that love, your every desire is met.

As King David said,
“Seek the Lord and his strength;
seek his presence continually!”

Let us pray:
Grant me, O Lord my God,
a mind to know you,
a heart to seek you,
wisdom to find you,
conduct pleasing to you,
faithful perseverance in waiting for you,
and a hope of finally embracing you.
Amen.

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